What are you waiting for?

Sometimes I wish I could just give into insanity.

I stare at the ceiling, imagining what it would be like if the world were upside down and that was the floor.
My sanity has caught up to me. It always asks the strangest questions. "What are you doing?" it asks, although I'm not completely sure if it's actually interested in what I'm doing or if it's just trying to strike up a conversation.
"Waiting," I reply.
My sanity looks at me quizzically. "What are you waiting for?"
For some reason this question surprises me. I lean back against the wall, and imagine myself falling through it like empty air. "I don't know..."
My sanity sighs, probably wanting me to say something more intelligent than that.
"Are you waiting for anything?" I ask it.
"Yes," it replies.
The silence stretches out for a couple of minutes, and I decide to return to my insanity. I close my eyes and imagine myself in a cave, surrounded by puffer fish. They all greet me, and I recite poems for them. Once I'm finished, I start walking.
"Where are you going?" It's my sanity again.
"Home, I guess." I feel like we're playing 20 questions. I wait, although I don't know what for, and figure that eventually something will happen if I wait long enough. My vision blurs and I feel like I'm dozing off.
I feel like my brain is getting cloudy, stuffed with big cotton balls that are absorbing all my conscious thoughts.
"Wait, don't leave!" My sanity yells at me. I can't seem to decipher the words, but I manage to process the basic meaning. I turn around, my limbs feeling heavy.
"Wha?" I grunt.
"Don't leave me alone. Come," it gestures for me to come closer to it. I look blankly at my sanity, then follow obediently.
I walk closer, the small seconds it takes for me to reach my sanity feels like an eternity. I'm struggling to keep forward, and I've forgotten the reason why I'm walking. I stop, right in front of my sanity.
"I need you," my sanity whispers in my ear, "and you need me."
My sanity opens its arms, and pulls me into an embrace. "You need me..." It whispers again.
Suddenly I'm flooded with reason. I open my eyes and look around the room. It's perfectly normal. Not upside down or filled with strange fish.
It must have been a dream. Although I wouldn't know.
Strange enough, even if it was a dream, I can still feel the sanity embracing me softly, tenderly. I close my eyes again.
"I guess I was waiting for you."
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Not exactly sure what inspired this. I guess an episode of Soul Eater and a story my friend told. So yep....

O.o

What do people DO at parties?? Especially ones that involve baby blessings??
I am currently hiding out in my room because I am terrified of having to talk to people. Socializing and entertaining people has never been my strong suit.
Oh dear... Well, I guess I'll come out from hiding once the food is served... Or something. O.o

AAAGH OH MY GOD I'M FREAKING OUT!!!

SPOOOOOILERS OF GLEEEEE!!!
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DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE MOST RECENT EPISODE!

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HOLY FREAKING CRAP I'M FREAKING OUT BLAINE AND KURT! FREAKING BLAINE AND KURT!!!!!! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT THEY'RE SO CUTE TOGETHER OH MY GOD I ALMOST STARTED CRYING WHEN BLAINE KISSED HIM AAAGHHH!!! LOVE LOVE LOOOOVE! I cannot express my feelings to the full extent right now. SO FREAKING EXCITING!!!!

Earthquake+Tsunami Japan

We need to pray that things will get better.

One of the things that bothers me is that I've been looking for news on the earthquake all evening and it seems that all that comes up has to do with the change of economy and the delays of anime shows and products not being shipped around as easily. Are americans and other people seriously that ignorant and shallow that all they care about is their material products and not the fact that tons of people just died and a lot more have gone missing? This has been one of the most serious earthquakes recorded.

And I feel helpless because I don't know if I can do anything to help but I seriously want to do something. All I can do for now is pray.

I'm fine

It was for the good. I'm getting my wings back. I'm getting along perfectly fine so far. I just have to keep reminding myself of the reasons for why I let go.
But in the end, when I think about it, I'm fine.

Yay for procrastination.

I want a donut.
I haven't been writing lately... Or something. Hehe, I'm just too lazy right now. So yeah. I shall make a longer post eventually, I guess. But first, I must make a vlog.

Just Another Face

I've never seen you smile, never heard you laugh.
Only seen your portraits behind a screen of glass.
Enchanting eyes, something about you.
A new inspiration, different ways to see through.
I'm going insane, but I keep holding on to hope.
The distance is so far, I would need a telescope.
Continents apart, lives so unique.
How come I keep thinking it's you I seek?
One in a million, maybe even more.
It seems like a fortress more than a door.
Is there a chance or am I just insane?
I can't help but think that this will end in pain.

Oh, why, Maya?

Wonderful words for everyday use.

TROGLODYTE: A person of degraded, primitive, or brutal character.
CLAPTRAP: Pretentious but insincere or empty lenguage.
DOUR: Sullen, gloomy, severe, stern.
SLUGABED: A lazy person who stays in bed long after the usual time for arising.
HEBETUDINOUS: The state of being dull, lethargy.
SMARMY: Excessively or unctuously flattering, ingratiating, servile.
FLUMMOX: To bewilder, confuound, confuse.
VACUOUS: Lacking in ideas or intelligence, purposeless, idle.
ENNUI: A feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest, boredom.
POMPOUS: Characterized by an ostentatious display of dignity or importance.
MORIBUND: In a dying state, near death, not progressing or advancing, stagnant.
AGGRANDIZE: To widen in scope, increase in size or intensity, enlarge, extend, to make something appear greater.
JAUNDICED: Affected with or exhibiting prejudice, as from envy or resentment.
NEFARIOUS: Extremely wicked or villainous.
MISCONSTRUE: To misunderstand the meaning of, take in a wrong sense, misinterpret.
ABSCOND: To depart in a sudden and secret manner.
ACRIMONIOUS: Caustic, stinging, or bitter in nature, speech, behavior.
DESULTORY: Lacking in consistency, constancy, visible order, disconnected, digressing from or unconnected with the main subject, random.
BUNKUM: Insincere talk, claptrap, humbug.


Just wanted to share with you guys what I've been doing all afternoon. :P

Nervous

I feel really nervous for some reason. It might be because I feel extremely caught up in homework and school and I'm really struggling to get my grades back, since my GPA probably got lowered considerably last bimester. I don't even know if I got a single 10 and I feel super bad. I also feel nervous because I need to apply to the Prepa in February, and with the grades I got I'm probably not going to get accepted. This bimester I'm trying really hard to get better grades but I feel like I'm not learning anything in math. Whenever I learn something new, I forget how to do something I had learned to do before. It sucks and I feel extremely worried about it.
Also, I feel nervous with getting the job at the modeling agency because I've never been really good at speaking with people I don't really know and I'm supposed to really put myself out there and pretend that I'm confident and qualified for the job. I have to go back to GDL tomorrow to speak with another person from Avenue and I'm extremely nervous.
Good news is, I'm doing better with my social life at school, but I need to learn how to keep up with my education too. I have no idea how people manage to maintain a steady job, social life and good grades at the same time.
I also feel nervous because I've never really done anything like this before on my own. I feel completely unprepared for the real world. I mean, Lily started working when she was 11 and she has a firm idea on how to get by by herself.
Meh, whatever. I'm sure I'll adjust eventually.

Heartbeats

One night to be confused
One night to speed up truth
We had a promise made
Four hands and then away

Both under influence
We had divine scent
To know what to say
Mind is a razor blade

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
For me, no

One night of magic rush
The start, a simple touch
One night to push and scream
And then relief

Ten days of perfect tunes
The colors, red and blue
We had a promise made
We were in love

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
For me, no

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough

And you
You knew the hand of the Devil
And you
Kept us awake with wolf's teeth
Sharing different heartbeats in one night

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
For me, no

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough

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This song... Well, it brings back memories. *sigh*