Nervous

I feel really nervous for some reason. It might be because I feel extremely caught up in homework and school and I'm really struggling to get my grades back, since my GPA probably got lowered considerably last bimester. I don't even know if I got a single 10 and I feel super bad. I also feel nervous because I need to apply to the Prepa in February, and with the grades I got I'm probably not going to get accepted. This bimester I'm trying really hard to get better grades but I feel like I'm not learning anything in math. Whenever I learn something new, I forget how to do something I had learned to do before. It sucks and I feel extremely worried about it.
Also, I feel nervous with getting the job at the modeling agency because I've never been really good at speaking with people I don't really know and I'm supposed to really put myself out there and pretend that I'm confident and qualified for the job. I have to go back to GDL tomorrow to speak with another person from Avenue and I'm extremely nervous.
Good news is, I'm doing better with my social life at school, but I need to learn how to keep up with my education too. I have no idea how people manage to maintain a steady job, social life and good grades at the same time.
I also feel nervous because I've never really done anything like this before on my own. I feel completely unprepared for the real world. I mean, Lily started working when she was 11 and she has a firm idea on how to get by by herself.
Meh, whatever. I'm sure I'll adjust eventually.

Heartbeats

One night to be confused
One night to speed up truth
We had a promise made
Four hands and then away

Both under influence
We had divine scent
To know what to say
Mind is a razor blade

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
For me, no

One night of magic rush
The start, a simple touch
One night to push and scream
And then relief

Ten days of perfect tunes
The colors, red and blue
We had a promise made
We were in love

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
For me, no

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough

And you
You knew the hand of the Devil
And you
Kept us awake with wolf's teeth
Sharing different heartbeats in one night

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
For me, no

To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough

~~~
This song... Well, it brings back memories. *sigh*

All leading up to this

I have got to stop thinking about this. It's outrageous and totally never going to happen.
I hate Valentine's day.

I Need You

I'm just thinking about what it would be like if we had stuck to ourselves and stayed as close as sisters. But obviously, we're drifting apart, caught up with a million people in between us. Brief words are exchanged, perhaps a short conversation is held.
The fact is, I need you to be there for me when I need you. And right now I need you. I always need you.

This is home.

The title and picture are unrelated to this blog post.
I just felt like writing. I don't know about what, but I feel like writing.
Hmmm... I was going to write a poem but I got lazy and decided not to.
Do you know who I love? The Beatles. They're seriously the best band ever. Their music is so freaking creative! Yeah... Hmm... :3
Today I hung out with Keren-ha and Ale :D (Ustedes son  la ondaaa!) and we walked around Chapala taking pictures for our computers test. (We have to make an imaginary tour and take pictures of the places that we're taking the people to) So we took pictures and goofed around :P
Keren-ha and I went to this little "Get your weight and height measured" thingy and Keren-ha is 1,60 m!! Yay for her!!
And I'm 1,72! (And apparently I'm 20 kilos underweight! D:)
So yeah... Hanging out is fun. I want to do it more often.

Look up

This year is going so perfectly well. I'm making new friends, keeping old ones, getting job opportunities, becoming more creative, socializing more, and every day I'm just wearing a content face. I feel at peace. Like even though there are still conflicts in my life, this is about as good as it gets. I'm letting go of the bad part of me, and I'm working to fill in those empty spaces with good things.
I don't feel like a helpless romantic anymore either. This vacation really helped me let go and get over everything that's happened since school started. I no longer have the insane desire to be in a relationship. I'm functioning just fine with myself. I love the feeling of emotional freedom. My heart doesn't somersault whenever I think of myself being in a relationship with someone. That thought doesn't even come up anymore.
So this is what it feels like to be happy. I enjoy it a lot.

Keren-ha, we need to get together and do something. I'm serious. We're becoming strangers for goodness sake!

Well, I should like to think it's only gonna go uphill from here.

(^^^) (Shark)

OHMGLARJGUNEUAHGUHHHHHHH
Eh?
WHOOSIEDAISY!
I NEED A CAPPUCCINO!!!!
(And Lily won't share hers with me)
AAAAAGH I NEED SOME CRAZY IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
LALALALLALAAAAAAAA READING ERAGON
And suddenly I'm suuuuper Hypeeeer!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Chrisser says: Oh love... Ah, smooches. Nuu.
O.o
Weeeird
Chrisser is trying to kiss Liller!
:O
I need a new hobby.
I miss mah Kedderlydoopafuzzleshopaliddleshalloopinalilollypopblueshoopdeedoop!
T-T
See how much I miss her?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
D:
I'm having "I miss Keddy" issues.
D:
COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! AAAARGH I MISS YOUUUU! :(
(Do you miss me? I dunno... It could be possible that you don't, I don't know. Harumm... I'm going to be thinking about this all day now.)
Anyways....
Duurh
ERM...
Heehee
Umm... I'm gonna say "Bye-bye" for now.
Bye-bye!

Nothing but Feelings

So, I hung out with Mik a lot for the past 24 hours or so. It was great, filled with tons of laughs and great ideas. Mik introduced me to the vlogbrothers, which is made out of pure awesomeness. You guys should check it out for yourselves. Anyways, the first thing I did when I got home was watch some more of their videos. After delving deeper and deeper into the recesses of their videos, I found the video Rest in Awesome, Esther. While watching the video, I nearly cried. Wanting to know more about her, I went to her YouTube channel.
oiHSFIS SIFHSOIDF ihsafihds.ogisgoi eo
See, Esther had cancer. *Sigh* I cried so hard. Watching her videos and getting a tiny glimpse of her life was... I can't even describe it (Touching, sad, enlightening, symathetic, depressing, lovable, with a lot of epicness thrown in). Esther passed away about 4 months ago. Just seeing how much she cared for her family and how afraid she was made me cry. From what I could tell, Esther was an amazing person, even if she might have thought otherwise. She will be remembered, and she will rest in awesome.

Thank you, Mik, for introducing me to the vlogbrothers, and thank you, vlogbrothers for introducing me to Esther.

Welcome to Nerdfighteria, Maya.

FORGET YOU

My GOD.
Well.
Heh, this was all for nothing.
Figures.
I'm mad. I'm very, very mad.
But at least I'm laughing. Even though it's sardonic.
I'm still smiling.
I care, yes, but I honestly realized it wasn't worth it.
I'd really like to get a knife. A really dull knife.... Wait, no. Better, I'll use my freaking fingernails and SCRATCH HIS EYES OUT!
You have no idea how becoming that idea is to me right now.
I hope that when this is all over, that girl will break his stupid little heart.
He deserves it.
He broke mine many a time.
And he mended it again.
And then he broke it. Again.
Figures.
Well, I hope he regrets it when he sees how happy I am.
I'm over him. Oh yes, you heard me. I'm over it.
And I SO hope I get to break his heart later on.

Tataa, my friends. Happiness awaits me.

Am I jealous?

Hah. No.
I'm just irritated.
I seriously wish I could do that.
I guess "Suddenly I see" by KT Tunstall would be the song that fits my situation right now... Somewhat. Meh. Not really. I just like the song.

Once I finish translating my christmas story, I will post it on here.
Nutcracker rehearsals are tiring, but it's almost over.
Harumm. That was a good cookie. Thanks, Keira! IT WAS GINGERBREAD! :D

Oh yeah! My leg is totally messed up. Like, the ball of my foot is all weird, and then my ankle, then my knees, and finally, my hip. Like, the entire leg is out of whack. And it hurts. And I WANT IT GOOOONE! I mean, I'm gonna be dancing on it and I can't exactly be limping around the dance floor. Oh well. It will get better. I hope....

On a different note, Mik is coming! Yay!

._.