No matter how I felt, it was hard to do.
I don't regret these last 2 months, but I'm sorry.
I'm sorry it happened that way.

Something Good Can Work

Inspiration is surging through me and I don't really know what to do with it. Do I write, do I draw, do I go out and take some photos? Do I let my mind churn over the ideas I have in my head and wait until I have solid facts about what I want to do or do I go out, right now, and do it? I have so many more ideas for my book that pull most of the loose ends together. Sadly, NaNo ends tomorrow. But that doesn't mean I'll stop writing. Who wants to leave a book that they had written, half-finished, to rot away in our computer hard drive? Reading, I think, has brought me more inspiration. I get so many fresh ideas from the stories, add a whole big twist, maybe trash the idea and find a new one.
Anywho, I'm inspired and I know I should write, but I have so much to do (aka lazing around doing nothing and waiting for tomorrow to come).
I guess I'll do something soon.

Also, this is my 127th post :)

So. It's safe to say that I'm incredibly addicted to Skyrim. If you play it, you're amazing, if you don't, you should definitely try. It's all fun and stuff. But anywho. This isn't the point of my blog post.

HAPPY TWO MONTHS, PATRICK :) I hope it stays this way for a really, really long time.

PS: Sorry I haven't posted much lately.

Sleepy Tigers

Not having a great day. This morning I accidentally dropped my laptop when I was trying to put it in my book bag. I thought it would be alright since I have dropped Skyler before, but nope... It cracked the screen and now it is an array of colors and black ink.... I'm so sad. I have all my life on Skyler and I feel sad that I dropped him. Patrick offered to help me and for that I'm very grateful. But I will miss my laptop that has old sharpie marks and its Apple sticker in the corner and its missing '6' key. :C

On another note, I got my report card today and I am proud to say that I have all A's. Lily says that all the classes I have are easy, but I did work hard for my grades. I brought my biology up from an 88 to a 96. I'm proud of the grade I have.

Inheritance came out today, and I had been planning to buy it the day it came out but I never did. I'm sad because of that. I had a gift card and everything. Oh well. Tomorrow, I hope. I'm gonna get Keddy a copy as well (I MISS YOU SO MUCH!). I'm really excited to read Inheritance. Blaaaah!

I hate drama. 'Nuff said. I hate it.

I'm really excited to go back to Mexico in December... I miss everyone so bad. I'm just looking forward to spending time with my friends and sort of just... Remembering my old life, kind of. I don't deny that I've changed since I moved to North Carolina. Whether it's for the best or the worst, I don't know. But I've learned a lot. Sometimes I just wish I could go back to the way things were, though. Maybe in Mexico I'll get a little taste of that. I'm sure I'll be engulfed in nostalgia though... I miss you guys so much. I miss Keren-ha, Mik, Meagan, Vadel, Pedro, Dan, Odeth, Theily, and even Elam. I want to see you guys again.

Writeeee

I have to write. So far I have 3,253 words. I need 3,144 more to reach today's goal. I'm a little bit more than half, but I wrote what I have so far in a sequence of three days. Which means I gotta go on turbo mode. Of course, all I'm doing right now is blogging. I'm stressing out over this so bad. Anyways. Ta ta for now, I have a lot of work to do.

To no one in particular or to you.

You gave me a purpose to live when I was dying.
You taught me to love.
No matter how many cuts or scrapes you have, you will always shine like diamonds in my eyes.
A stray picked up from the road; when you found me, I had found a home.
You made me feel love towards someone other than myself.
I feel pain when you feel it because I can't bear to see you sad.
Life is too short to believe that no one loves you.
Love and be loved, that's how it works.
But don't pick out the wrong people or you might get hurt.
You taught me to care when the only pain I felt was my own.
Let me say this, and never forget, you're the greatest friend I've ever known.

Lot 92

When I think about it, I realize that some of the most inspirational moments I've had in my life have come from walks. Long or short walks, either if I'm walking around barefoot in the rain or lugging around a backpack full of small props to take pictures of with my best friend. Whether it's in Mexico or North Carolina, they're still always inspirational.

Today I went on a walk.

 Lot 92 is our Bridge to Terabithia, in a sense. 

It was the first time I had ever entered the "woods" in North Carolina.

It was more magical than I thought it would be. We encountered a small stream not even too far from the entrance to the forest. It was all just so beautiful, the way it was laid out. I don't really even know how to describe it. My pictures can't describe how beautiful it looked. Or maybe it's because of the way my eyes saw everything. 

It was just a really nice walk. The minutes that passed by were all so pleasant. Talking to Patrick about anything and nothing in particular.

I've found someone that has inspired me in so many ways. I was so blank before... There's actually someone that has made me feel so much better about life. About myself. I don't feel so alone anymore. He brought me inspiration and hope when I thought I had none. 

Today was an amazing day.

The Tears

My vision was blurred by tears... The small drops that fell from my eyes seemed to drown out everything else. I was barely aware of the hands clawing at me... The crawling fingers, reaching for the book that I was protecting with my body and soul. The book that mean life or death. I couldn't wipe away those black tears that seemed to make my breathing shallower and shallower... The book was grasped tightly in my hands, my fingernails digging into the ancient leather binding, scraping against the ruby in the center.
"Child of the Damned," whispered the voice behind me, "the book does not belong to you." Malice and death slithered from its lips. Menace was in the voice's words. Yet I did not let go of the book. How could I, when I spent my entire life guarding it? No, I would not give up.
Yet the tears... They burned. They burned into my skin and soul. What sort of devil's work was happening here?
The demon grasped my hand and pried at my fingers. I screamed and thrashed, wanting nothing but for this to end. I knew this was no nightmare; how could I think up something like this?
My fingers bled. The demon was screeching at me, making the tears come out more, burning my flesh. I could feel it. Yet I gripped the book with all my strength... But it was not enough.
I didn't know if it was the pain that wracked my whole body or the demon that was hunched at my side, still beating me and attempting to break my fingers to get to the book that made me give in. I could not endure these tears. My eyes burned, I could no longer see the demon that was ripping at me with tooth and claw. I could no longer feel the book in my hands....
...The book...
My eyes snapped open. The demon was still in my line of vision. I could see it. I had let the book go-!
I don't know how I had the strength, but I lunged towards it. Too far away...
The demon was grinning and jumping around. The soulless creature stroked the binding of the book and flipped it open. I cringed and waited to feel a piece of my soul be torn out of me as it always did... But nothing happened. I didn't feel the pain that was so terrible... So fatal.
The demon did not scream like I had anticipated it to. It read the book.
So I screamed.
I pulled out my dagger and threw it straight at the demon, right in the temple of its leathery skull. It dropped the book and disintegrated into dust.
I scrambled to the book, and gently ran my fingers along its blood streaked cover. The tears came back, yet this time they did not burn.

~
A/N: This was inspired by listening to Kanon Wakeshima. I have no idea why I write such gruesome stuff, I really don't. I'm actually in a really happy mood right now.
But anyways, this is sort of a sequel to my post "Nightmare." The book. I'm always compelled to write about it. Also, I'm exercising my brain for NaNoWriMo. Comment your thoughts, good or bad. I don't really care.
PS: Is it sad that it took me 3 hours to write this??

Autumn is my favorite season. I love everything about it. The weather, how it's crisp and just cold enough to wear a sweater and not get uncomfortable. I love it when the leaves turn and the world is bathed in color. I love the holiday feel of it, when everyone is getting ready for Halloween and Thanksgiving.
I was born in October, so that's another reason why I love the fall so much.
I love the idea of going out camping and sitting by a fire roasting marshmallows. Listening to someone play guitar over the sound of a rushing creek and the rustling of leaves.
I love curling up in a blanket with hot cocoa in my hand and a book in the other. I love snuggling up to my loved ones and talking about nothing important. I love the word "autumn," how the letters look so graceful and full of promise.
Some of the best moments in my life have happened in the fall, and I plan on this being the best autumn yet.

At home.

Too many thoughts are coursing through my head. Love, life, education, recreation, memorization... My life has changed completely, yet it's all the same. A new home, a new school, a new country, new people...
Challenges have been presented to me these past few months. Some that I thought I would never be able to pass. I've gone through things that would have made me cower and run away before. Not just bad things, but good things. Things that I fear I'll mess up. If I take one wrong step, I'll ruin everything. I will fall off the small string of success that I've worked so hard to make. It's scary, but exhilarating. I look at every challenge with anticipation and motivation. Moving here has presented me to new ideas and ways of thinking. It's challenged me to make a life for myself.
I'm so content here. Even if I have a routine that I follow 24/7, it's relaxing. I've been doing good in school, I've made friends, I have an amazingly incredible boyfriend, I'm in a play, I have a church that I really feel at home with... Several years ago I was at home in Mexico, but it moved away from me. And now I'm here and I've found it again.
I'm just really looking forward to the future. I'm excited for all of it. I want to feel the excitement of opening night for the play, I want to reach the one month mark of being with Patrick, I want to take driver's ed, I want to get my report card and try hard to get good grades. I want to impress my parents. I want to build my life.
I'm so excited for the future, but the present is what's really important.

PS: My writer's block finally lifted :D