Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Get up already.

If someone is depressed, my first instinct is to try and cheer them up. But when it's my fault that that person is depressed, my hands are tied. I have nothing I can do because you don't want to see my face again. I try to tell you to get over it, to tell you I'm unimportant, but you just won't let me go. You won't stop missing me. It's tying us both down. Get over it. Let us be friends again. All I did was tell you what I wanted. I want to kick your ass back into shape, so that we can get back to where we used to be; back to when we were friends, but I can't do that unless you let me. Look, the past is the past, you need to accept it. Unless you want to swim in your own self-inflicted misery, get up. Get over it. It's all I'm asking. Just get up and stop being depressed. You got the easy end of it, believe me. All you ended up with was a broken heart and masochistic holes in your skin. I ended up friendless and guilty. I ended up being the one trying so hard to pick up the pieces. I ended up being the one keeping you from hurting yourself. Look around  you, please. Everything I did I did because I cared. About both you and me. So get the hell up and let's start over.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I've realized that I'm constantly writing, yet I never write on this blog. I'll write in a notebook or on a scrap piece of paper or on the computer, but never here. So let me rummage through my computer and find something interesting you guys can read.
Mkay, found something. 100 questions that I had answered in December but never felt like sharing with anyone:
1) Are you really ready for 1OO questions? ._. Nooo.
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake? I wish it wasn't, but it feels like it. Why the heck is this the first real question? -.-
3) Do you miss your last relationship? Nah.
4) Who did you last say “I love you” to? My mom.
5) Do you regret it? NEVEEEER!
6) Have you ever been depressed? I am right now ._.
7) Are you a girl or boy? Pff, I'M A BOY!
8) Are you insecure? Sometimes, yeah.
9) What is your relationship status? Single and happy.
10) How do you want to die? Saving someone's life heroically. Or maybe blowing something up and getting caught in the explosion.
11) What did you last eat? A tiny bit of chicken that I had deboned to make soup for my mom and Jerry who are both really sick.
12) Played any sports? I played volleyball for a little bit.
13) Do you bite your nails? I've never had that habit.
14) When was your last physical fight? Just now. My sister just punched me. And I punched her back.
15) Do you have an attitude? Sometimes. My sister says yes.
16) Do you like someone? Maybe ._.
17) What is your real name? ... I'M NOT TELLING.
18) Ever smoked smarties? Uhh... Why the heck would I do that?
19) Who is your best friend? Keren-ha, Meagan, Halley, Mik, Lily and Alex.
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? Not hate, just very strongly dislike.
21) Do you miss someone? Yes u.u
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? Twiiiirl!
23) Do you tan a lot? I can tan easily, but I never like to.
24) Have any pets? Yes, I have 3 dogs, 2 cats and a snake.
25) How exactly are you feeling? At the moment, I am frustrated that there is no internet in the place that I'm staying and my jaw kind of hurts from where my sister punched me and I'm missing someone and wanting to talk to them and I'm mad at this person and I would like to hurt said person that I am mad at and I'm worried about my mom and Jerry because they are sick and I'm wondering when Mik is going to Guadalajara tomorrow.
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? Yeah?
27) Ever made out in the bathroom? ._. No.
28) Can you touch your tongue to your nose? No. I just tried. I can't.
29) Are you scared of spiders? Nah, they're cute. I've held tons of tarantulas.
30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Heck yes.
31) Do you regret anything from your past? I do.
32) What are your plans for this weekend? New Year's party at Mik's! :D
33) Do you want to have kids? Yeah, but waaay later.
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an B? Nah.
35) Do you type fast? Here, let me turn around and ask my sister what she thinks. "Lily, do you think I type fast?" "Mhm-- what?" "do you think I type fast?" "Mhm." Yeah, I guess I type fast.
36) Do you have piercings? They're all closing up D:
How many? 3
37) Want any more? Yesss.
38) Can you spell well? Yes, of course. I'm a grammar and spelling Nazi.
39) Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah....
40) What are you craving right now? INTERNET! (If you can crave that.)
41) Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah, sorta.
42) If you won the lottery how would you spend it? I would give it to people and then save the rest for college.
43) Have you ever been on a horse? Yeah, of course.
44) Favorite Random Song? Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens.
45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I dunno, they seemed pretty down and then 2 weeks later got another girlfriend. Go ask them.
46) Have you ever been cheated on? Not that I am aware of.
47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Hehehe, yeah.
48) Are you thinking of someone right now? Yeah ._.
49) Would you live with someone without marrying them? I don't think so, unless it was like, a roommate thing xD
50) What should you be doing? Right now, I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
51) What’s irritating you right now? Someone is irritating me right now.
52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? Ooooh yeah.
53) Does somebody love you? My mom?
54) What is your favorite color? Black and blue, maybe purple.
55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? I think so, when I was little.
56) Milk chocolate or white chocolate? How about dark chocolate?
57) Do you have trust issues? Yeah, I do.
58) Mom's name? Kristina Morgan
59)Dad's name? Joel Barker
60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah, they're great :)
61) Longest relationship? 5 months, with Andrew.
62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? I hope not.
63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? I can't remember... I think it was my mom.
64) Do you give out second chances too easily? Way too easily.
65) Is it easier to forgive or forget? It's never easy, but it's always better.
66) Is this year the best year of your life? Hmm, I don't know. Every year is kinda average.
67) What was your child hood nickname? Maya ._. As always.
68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Uh, no?
69) Favorite food? MEXICAN FREAKING FOOD.
70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yeah. Life is a whole big book, albeit a sometimes badly written one, seeing as there are a lot of loose ends not tied up in the end and sometimes it can have a sucky ending.
71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed lastnight? I cried and then took my medicine ._.
72) Did you have a dream last night? Yeah, I was in a ship and it was kind of like Unwind and The Hunger Games combined all on a ship. It was fascinating.
73) What is bothering you? Someone is bothering me because she's being really rude.
74) Have you ever been out of state? I am right now ^^ I've been to Canada and Mexico.
75) Do you play the Wii? My brother owns one *shrug*
76) Are you listening to music right now? Nope, I wish.
77) Do you like Chinese food? Yessss :)
78) Do you know your fathers birthday? Yeah, it's August 27th.
79) Are you afraid of the dark? Yeah ._.
80) Is cheating ever okay? Never. It's never okay.
81) Are you mean? I really try not to be.
82) Can you keep white shoes clean? Hahaha, no.
83) How many people have you fist fought? Lily, she just punched me, remember?
84) Do you believe in true love? Yeah, I've seen it. It's rare, though.
85) Your favorite weather? Cold and rainy :)
86) Do you like the snow? I haven't seen it since I was 3, so I don't know. I think I do.
87) Does it snow a lot where you live? What did I just say?
88) Do you like the outside? Yeah.
89) Are you currently bored? Not really.
90) Do you wanna get married? Yeah.
91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Ugh, no. I don't really like it.
92) Are you hungry? Yeah, a little bit.
93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Uhh, what do you think I do? Time every make-out session? I don't even make out.
94) What makes you happy? I have a list.
95) Would you change your name? Yeah, I would.
96) Favorite Song? Casimir Pulaski Day, I'm pretty sure.
97) Ever been to Hawaii? Nah. Chapala's waaay better.
98) Do you watch the news? I try to.
99) What’s your zodiac sign? Libra.
100) Do you like Subway? Haha, yeah. It amuses me that this is the last question.

And then my more recent questions that I also did not feel like submitting.
These were in January, I think.

Is there anyone you're holding onto, even though you know you shouldn't?
There was Jason, but I let him go. Everything's okay now.
Be honest; are you dating the last person you kissed?
Well no... Not yet. I don't think.
 Do you seek approval from your friends before going out with someone?
Some friends, yes. Only my closest friends.
What are you sitting on right now?
My bed because I'm really sore from yesterday and all.
Will you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend in 6 months?
If I'm ready, then most likely.
How often do you say 'lol' in a computer or text conversation?
Only when I find something REALLY funny.
 The last person you kissed calls you, what are they calling for?
Either he's really sad or just wants to talk to me.
 When was the last time you were at a hotel and why were you there?
In Monterrey. We had an overnight layover.
 If the last person you kissed, saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad?
Maybe not mad, but very upset. I think that'd be a stupid thing to do on my part.
Do you think its cute when someone kisses your forehead?
Yeah. Only if they're taller than me though, 'cause then that might be weird.
Are there things in your life that you'll never be able to get over?
Does a weak stomach count?
When will your next kiss be?
Next time he uses a tab?
Last place you went besides your house?
Noah's school, I think.
Who is the last person to call you?
Jerry, he was asking if we needed any sausage.
How are you feeling right now?
Sore and kinda out of it. Well, very out of it
 What item could you not go without during the day?
My cell phone u.u
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
I think I did once, but it was because I had the fever. Can't remember.
Who can you always vent to?
I vent to a lot of different people, usually the people I have a problem with. Or a friend. *shrugs*
Have you ever made out with someone the first night you met them?
Uh, no? Also, what's up with you and your obsession with kissing?
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Driving home from dinner
 Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Err... Alex.
 Did you have an exciting last weekend?
Yeah, I hung out with Alex most of the time. It was fun. We went to an art museum and played Pacman xD
Have you ever crawled through a window?
Mhm. Always fun, that is.
 What do you spend most of your money on?
What money? o.O
 Where were you at 1AM sunday morning?
 Who was your last text from?
Ever kissed someone over 30? Who?
Are you wearing a necklace? If so, who is it from?
Is their someone you wish you could have fixed things with?
I guess. I dunno
Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
How about make sure never happened? ._.
What's something that can always make you feel better?
Did your parents spoil you as a child?
Kind of. Spoiled in love and all.
 How's your heart lately?
In a literal sense, fine. In an emotional sense, confused, I guess.
 Will this weekend be a good one?
I think so. If I do anything.
What do you want right now?
To cuddle.
 Who can always cheer you up?
 Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public?
 Who hugged you last?
Mom, I think. Maybe it was Tolson. Not sure.
 Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
What is your relationship status?
Single or something. O.o
 Look behind you, what do you see?
A new jacket, my bag, my bed and a closet.
 Have you ever worked in a food place?
 Who was the last person to Facebook chat you?
 What would you name your future daughter?
Silver, Aiden or Maximum.
 Who was the last person to see you cry? When?
I do not remember. I think it was mom. I'm pretty sure it was mom.
What will you name your future son?
Haydn or Alexander :3
Have you held hands with anyone in 2012 yet?
What will you be doing after this?
Probably lay in my bed or something.
Do you miss having a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Kinda. Sorta. I mean, I do, in a sense, but I also don't. I dunno.
Is there anything you wish you could say to an ex?
Did your last kiss mean anything?
Is the person you last texted single?
Yes, but does not want to be.
Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Someone I probably should not name.
What are your initials?
Is there someone that you used to talk to every single day but you don't now?
Yeah, I used to.
 How are you?
Longing, sore. Very, very sore.
Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?
I guess kinda.
 Ever get hurt by someone who promised they wouldn't?
What is something that REALLY bugs you?
Can you ice skate?
 Are you a happy person?
Sometimes. Not an enthusiastic OH MY GOD I AM SO HAPPY TODAY LET ME SPREAD MY HAPPY LIKE MOUTH HERPES happy but Oh hai, today is nice. I shall enjoy today and hug Ninja.
Where are you?
In my room on a chair.
Are you going to be in a relationship tomorrow?
Tomorrow never comes, so suuuuuure.
Are you happy with your life?
I guess. Not like I can change much of it.
Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Can you handle the truth?
I welcome the truth. COME AT ME BRO
Does anything on your body hurt right now?
If someone said, "I don't talk shit about people", would you believe them?
Probably not.
Favorite color?
Blue and black.
Favorite season?
Autumn :)
Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yeaaaaaaahhh.... :3
Does the last person you held hands with attend your school?
Yes indeed.
If you had to choose between a million dollars or be able to change a regret?
A million dollars! I can live with regret.
 Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nah, he's cool, he's cool.
If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
Not date Patrick. Ew.

Aaaaand now you have most definitely learned more about me that any of my blog posts could tell you. Enjoy the knowlegde. Scary, isn't it?