Now is as good a time as ever to write a new blog post.
Right now I'm in my living room, listening to some indie song while my cats lay on either side of me. It's quiet, I'm chatting and old friend and a new friend, listening to the windchimes ring.
I think Kashka has a tic in her right eye. It keeps twitching.
A person at my school started following me on twitter yesterday. I'm not sure what to think about it, considering how he never really acknowledges me and I have an awkward past with him and I don't really hold him in very high respects and all that. It's just... ugh. I might as well write about it, it's not that bad.
So at the beginning of school I had a severe crush on him. And I sort of let him know it, which was the stupidest thing I could have done. Also he was totally out of my league. I guess I could call him the school's Cumberbatch (Although he's still nowhere near being as perfectly gorgeous as Cumberbatch is). Okay, well he was sort of *my* Cumberbatch. There are people that could disagree with me.
Anyways, I really liked him, and it was getting nowhere, I was getting frustrated, and I sorta freaked out and made a fool of myself. Needless to say, I stopped liking him like, 2 months later, although it seemed like ages.
Time passed, we never talked; it's almost impossible to talk to him. He's infuriating that way. Things were... Getting better, I guess. I didn't have feelings for him anymore, and I honestly thought he wasn't worth being friends with either. We finally started to acknowledge each other after a big gap of no talking, nothing. I was sort of mad at him for not wanting me, to be honest.
By that time, I had finally built that concrete wall around my heart. Thank God. Then Valentine's day came around and I was paired up with him on the "cute couples" poster. Aaaand a lot of the feelings came rushing back. He never shows any emotion or anything, like, ever. So I pretended I hated that my name was followed by his with a big heart in the background. I didn't care afterwards, I just wanted him to *feel* something, you know?
After that I just started ignoring him again, and now recently I've been catching looking at me every once in a while. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking.
Traces of what I once felt for him are coming back, along with a resentment that he never did anything. He's like a robot. He can be programmed to be totally gorgeous but he won't feel anything because in the end he's going to destroy the world or something. With these big nuclear bombs or lasers that were hidden behind his dark, almost black eyes. And the target is my heart. Then he'll stomp on the ashes and return back to his programmers in space or something.
Agh, sidetracked. Back to what I was talking about. I still feel some longing for him, and I wonder, "what if...?" But nah. The moment passed, he had his chance and he blew it. I've just been thinking about him a lot more than I should be.
Remember that dream I told you guys about how I liked this guy but he never acknowledged my existence because he felt bad because he was gay? Well that was him. Hehe. It honestly made me laugh when I woke up. I'm not taking all of this too seriously though, although I am a bit peeved that he started following my twitter. I guess that's just what people do. I don't know f I should follow him back. He's just... Ugh. Annoying.
Hehe, well, there's a little story about my past and stupid teenage angst.
Oh, and I'm only posting this because MayaLogic™ is down. If it were working, I would totally keep this to myself. But I feel like I needed to get it out because it's been on my chest for a while and I don't know why I'm thinking about him so much because he's not even that charming or anything there's just something about him that makes me go "wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" in my tummy and now I'm rambling so I should prolly stop now or it's gonna get really bad.